Pirates With Giggling Fits (repost)
by mariXwic32
Summary: The sultry and elaborate adventures of crazy pirates without brains, possibly...
1. Chapter 1

Pirates with giggling fits

It started in Tourtogo. Jack Swallow (former captain[and moron]) got slapped pimple and purple calling his girlfriend another name. His best buddy Will Smith played around with Paintail on the Spaghetti and lost the ship and the turkey, because they were thinking of drinking something in Singythepoo by their best friend Some-fang.

Captain Snorting was playing around with Elizabeth's swan, causing Tia's dama to be lost in Dilly Jones' butthole.

The lost turkey had to be found, and Jack Swallow was out drinking Boboutuberpuss. "Savvy, the hell are we going to find that damn turkey." He said. "Don't forget the ship!" Will Smith added. "It can be found prolly by the crack in Dilly Jones' butt." He stood up majestically and fell over Be-annoying and hit his head on captain Shitface.

Armandhand Crosshair was fighting with Missy-Clang because of captain Joker who was in an argument with captain Babbelas. "Why you no like me? You argument about captain Teef de whole time! You shitface stop playing with Armandhand Crosshair before I bring in Some-Fang to slap you in the bitchface; then you no sing no more in Singythepoo!" She exclaimed, slapping him senselessly across the pirate lord's table so that the snot flew sideways.

The next day, the crew set out: Jack Swallow, Will Smith, Pintail on the Spaghetti, Vicks(cause he's always got a cold), Mr. Planted(his tounge was touge5 out) and the scurvy brats. They set sail in a sort of that-a-way direction, not exactly sure which side the sun came up, because at the time they were looking at 12 noon.

They met up with Some-Fang who was still singing the poo with Missy-Clang on a small boat and got rewarded by getting the snot smacked out of his head for saying he was getting Elizabeth's Swan's Tia dama out of Dilly Jones' buttcrack.

Be-annoying and Shitface were still fighting over captain Joker's Boboutuberpuss, consequentally Jack Swallow told captain Babbelas that he was no longer a fit mate to play with Pintail on the Spaghetti and kicked him in mr. Planted who cunned his tounge out and fell overboard and got caught on Boottrap's shoestring.

Meanwhile Missy-Clang was swinging from the yardarm(go google if you don't understand) trying to stop Will Smith from fidgeting in Dilly Jones' crack to retrieve the turkey.

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Day 3: ... Short of water, thought, the christmas turkey and several million nauticle miles from frickin' land.

Still thinking of the frickin' turkey they banked up against a steep coral reef and got stuck without a paddle. "We're gonna die!" Pintail on the Spaghetti jumped up and down like a dog screaming like a girl, upon which Will Smith promptly stopped his fiddling in Dilly Jones' buttcrack and slapped Pintail on the Spaghetti so that the snot slapped around his head and slapped captain Jack Swallow square in the face.

After falling off the edge of the earth, the sand bank didn't sound so bad...

When Jack Swallow and his band of scurvy brats woke up, captain Babbelas said to Vicks, "now that we're here in Dilly Jones' Closet, maybe Some-Fang can maybe stop singing the poo and find out from Missy-Clang where the star charts are so we can get out of Dilly Jones' closet with the frickin' turkey and maybe a boat." Because when he turned around he saw Pintail on the Spaghetti trying to get rid of the crabs on Tia's darma.

Captain Snorting was having a fight with Armandhand Crosshair about Captain Joker's Boubertuberpus when captain Swallow kicked Will Smith to wake him up after sleeping on mr. Vick's coushin, so that he can get the frickin' turkey and so Two-Slingshot and the scurby rats can find a fishing boat so they can get out of Dilly Jones' closet.

They first have to get back from eye of the crackhole so that they can get back to pottyroyal to meet up with Commedor Snorting who was going to frame Elizabeth's Swan's father for taking Dilly Jones' heart, but they got waylaid in Tuortogo where mr. Vicks got plastered on boubertuberpus again. Missy Clang got very upset and went back to Some-Fang's place in Singythepoo.

Armandhand Crosshair and Shitface decided to go back to Frank because the trip is taking to long to get a simple little boat and a frickin' turkey.

Pintail on the Spaghetti got lost halfway and got stuck on a small island with a bottle of water, a slingshot and a stone. They started batting their eyes at each other.

Expect new adventures of the Crackup leaving the ocean for land!

Reviews and questions welcome!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two: Motorbikes and Boubertuberpus.

So they eventually gave up on finding a boat and the frickin' turkey, and were now moving on to finding a motorbike.

After seventeen days without sight of a building, or anything else for that matter, the companions sat on the beach in Dilly Jones' buttcrack.

Mr. Vicks then had a brilliant idea. "Why don't we look for food? There's crabs everywhere!"

Everyone glared at him and Pintaill on the Spaghetti shoved a stick up his ass.

"We could have eated that too..." Jack Swallow grumbled.

Missy Clang was still with Somefang, on their way to Singy the poo in a barrel. The barrel however was quite small in bredth, but long in length, so Missy Clang stood on top of Somefang's shoulders with a teloscope in hand. "Can I get up there too? Its starting to smell here!"

Soon they drifted wayward they into New Foundland, Australia after being kicked out of Madagascar by the twin weasels. They then met up with Spazz the tazmanian devil who tried to bite Somefang's foot that was stuck up Missy Clang's butthole because he wanted to get her out of the barrel, cause she was taking her time to get out of the barrel.

And after getting boxed by a kangeroo for standing on his tail they eventually made it to a pub where they were given a toasted sandich instead.

Back on the Black Poephol, still being chased by the Flying Douchebag, surrounded by the British Navy, they opted to go submarine style, being dragged down by the Crackup. His long tentacles dragged them for several nauticle miles to India where they were blown off the ship by a wayward cracker meant for the American Consolate, sent by Achmed from Autozone in India.

Back on dry grass, after landing without a parachute, they accedentally landed on a cactus and found themselves in Mexico where everyone wore big round hats and slept all day. Confused and dazed, Pintail on the Spaghetti pulled the stick out of mr. Vicks' ass and began to chew on it. Captain Swallow, seriously dazed and confuzed slapped mister Vicks through the face again, letting the snot fly, hitting Elizabeth's swan, making her trip backwards onto Will Smith's arms, pinning him down, while he kicked Armandhand Crosshair, who in turn punched Jack Swallow in the stomach, making him throw up on Pintail on the Spaghetti.

Be-Annoying, still stuck with his foot firmly wedged in the Black Poephol, was still trying to phone home with no reception.

Missy Clang was getting annoyed that she didn't get a bite of the toasted sandwich and slapped Somefang that Spazz got scared and ran away with the barrel, leaving Somefang and Missy Clang with a paddle and no creak.

After Be-annoying found his friends in a little town called 'what's the little town in Mexico' he preceeded to get completely slushed on Boubertuberpus again.

The Flying Douchebag still with captain Dilly Jones and his crew of water rats was very annoyed that they couldn't catch the Black Poephol, so they preceeded to one-by-one slapping the captains of the British Navy and the red tails, until every British ship turned topside and kicked the crew off.

Dippit the monkey, being totally ignored and forgotten on the Black Poephol, decided to play with Be-annoying's foot, still firmly wedged in the Black Poephol, sending Be-annoying into a frenzy of laughter and making him pee in his pants.

What are these idiots going to do next, and where?

Stay tuned to find out whether they find a motorbike or not!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: A monkeys miracle.

Poopnick the monkey sat on the yardarm waiting for captain Babbelas to finally steer the ship in a southern direction. While waiting, he stuck his finger up his but and sniffed it, fainting and falling off the yardarm onto mr. Vicks who jumped and scared Pintail on the Spaghetti.

Missy Clang and Somefang were back on the sea with a rowboat, on their way to Singythepoo, when they were attacked by vicious man eating sea-rabbits with cute fluffy tails. They were forced to climb in a barrel again when the sea rabbits chewed up their boat.

Jack Swallow had his knickers in a twist when Will Smith agreed to go with Boottrap to the tavern a little ways south of where they were in Dilly Jones' Buttcrack.

The problem was, that they had to find something to get them there. A sandworm made of crabs attacked them and they had to run, carrying Armandhand Crosshair on a donkey to the tavern.

On the way Boottrap tripped over his bootstrap and fell face first on a bear trap, a silly looking flower, which turned out to be s snozwanger, which bit him in the face and made him see oompa loompas. He screamed, Jack picked him up and they were dashing with their legs in the air.

After waking up, Poopnick sniffed his finger again and fell over. This time he fell overboard and swam for his life from the man eating sea-rabbits. He was swallowed by a whale and was now stuck with several dead skeletons. Panicking, Poopnick dangled on the whale's tonsil, swinging it left and right.

All of the sudden water filled the whale's mouth and he was blasted out of the water blaster on the top of the whale's head.

Poopnick landed on a small island with one tree, a few coconuts and a half eaten salami sandwich.

Swollen and ignored, they reached the tavern, where after thousands of gallons of boubertuberpus, they could see straight.


End file.
